We don’t want to fundraise on the backs of the people we serve.

I hear this phrase constantly from nonprofit leaders, and it breaks my heart every time. Not because the sentiment is wrong, but because the logic is completely backwards.

Last week, I sat in a meeting with an executive director who had avoided major donor cultivation for years. Their organization serves crime victims—providing court advocacy, supporting children through trauma, helping elderly victims of financial abuse. Life-changing, essential work.

Yet they were paralyzed by the thought of sharing client stories or making significant asks. “It feels like we’re exploiting their trauma to get money,” they explained. “That doesn’t feel loving or ethical.”

Here’s what I told them, and what I’m telling you: The most loving thing you can do for the communities you serve is to ethically tell their stories, raise as much money as possible, and use those resources to serve more people more deeply.

When you refuse to share their stories with dignity and purpose, you’re not being ethical. You’re being ineffective. The most exploitative thing you can do is leave people without the resources they need because you were too uncomfortable to ask for help on their behalf.

Think about it: What’s more exploitative—sharing a story that leads to funding that helps dozens of other families, or staying silent while those families go without support?

Organizations that underperform in fundraising face devastating consequences. According to sector research, 73% of nonprofits operate with less than three months of reserves, forcing them to cut services when funding falls short. 

I’ve seen this firsthand:

• A domestic violence shelter reduced bed capacity by 40% because leadership felt “uncomfortable” making major asks.
• A youth mentoring program eliminated weekend services, leaving at-risk kids without support during their most vulnerable hours.

One organization I worked with had a two-year waitlist for trauma counseling because they raised only 60% of their goal—all because they worried about being “too aggressive” with donors.

The cost of your fundraising discomfort isn’t paid by you. It’s paid by the 11-year-old waiting for therapy, the elderly person facing financial abuse alone, and the family in crisis who can’t access your services.

Love isn’t avoiding difficult conversations about money. Love is having those conversations so you can transform more lives.

Your clients didn’t survive trauma so you could feel comfortable about your fundraising approach. They survived so you could help others avoid what they went through.

The best fundraising doesn’t exploit trauma—it transforms it into hope. It takes someone’s worst moment and shows how your organization helped them reclaim their dignity, their safety, their future.

When you tell these stories well, you’re not using people. You’re giving them a voice. You’re making their experience matter beyond their own healing.

Here’s the key: You can share stories with dignity while still creating urgency. You can honor people’s experiences while also showing donors what’s at stake if nothing changes.

When you water down the reality of what you do, you rob donors of the chance to truly understand the impact of their giving. You make their generosity less meaningful, not more ethical.

One major donor told me:

I don’t want you to make me feel good about a small gift. I want you to show me a problem big enough to deserve my biggest gift. When you water down the reality, you’re asking me to care less, not protecting my feelings.

Research from the Fundraising Effectiveness Project confirms this: Organizations that communicate urgent, specific needs raise 67% more than those using generic, comfortable language. Donors aren’t fragile—they’re sophisticated people who want to solve real problems with their philanthropy.

1. Share Stories That Show Both Problem and Solution	Don’t just share the trauma—show the transformation. Demonstrate how your organization intervenes, what changes, and why donor support makes that possible.
2. Make Asks That Match the Magnitude of the Need	Small asks for big problems send the wrong message. If you’re solving life-or-death issues, your funding requests should reflect that urgency and importance.
3. Follow Up Persistently Because Lives Depend on It	Persistence isn’t pushy when people’s wellbeing hangs in the balance. Your follow-up communicates that this work matters too much to let slip through the cracks.
4. Treat Fundraising as Ministry, Not Marketing	Approach every donor conversation as a sacred opportunity to invite someone into meaningful work. This isn’t about transactions—it’s about transformation.

“Isn’t sharing client stories exploitative?”

No—leaving people without services because you were too uncomfortable to ask for help is exploitative. Sharing stories with consent, dignity, and purpose gives clients a voice and secures resources for others facing similar challenges.

“Won’t donors think we’re being manipulative?”

Donors are far more sophisticated than you think. They want truth, not sanitized versions of your work. When you water down reality, you insult their intelligence and diminish their opportunity to make meaningful impact.

“What if our stories make people uncomfortable?”

Good. Discomfort drives action. The issues you address should make people uncomfortable—that’s what motivates change. Your job is to channel that discomfort into concrete support for your mission.

“What if sharing stories hurts our clients?”

Done ethically, storytelling empowers clients by giving their experiences meaning beyond their own healing. Many survivors report feeling honored that their story could prevent others from experiencing similar trauma. The key is consent, dignity, and focusing on transformation rather than exploitation.

“How do we balance transparency with client confidentiality?”

Use composite stories that represent real experiences without compromising individual privacy. Focus on outcomes and systems rather than personal details. You can communicate urgency and impact while maintaining appropriate boundaries.

“Won’t passionate fundraising damage our reputation?”

The opposite is true. Organizations known for passionate, transparent fundraising attract more committed donors and stronger community support. Your reputation suffers more from being forgettable than from being bold about your mission.

Your discomfort with fundraising serves no one. Your passion for fundraising serves everyone.

The question isn’t whether you should fundraise on behalf of the people you serve. The question is: How can you afford not to?

Take Action: Transform Your Nonprofit Fundraising Approach

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